This is me asking for help.
The responsibilities are still being handled. The meetings are attended. The emails are answered. The problems are solved. From the outside, every diagnostic appears normal. But internally, something has stopped responding.
A manual override is necessary when the existing system cannot correct itself. In this song, that becomes a plea to interrupt the pattern before it becomes permanent. Continuing exactly as before is no longer an option.
At its heart, this is about wanting to feel again and not knowing how to begin.
I wore "essential" like armor Built my worth from impossible things Every problem had an answer Every fire knew my name Every "good job" felt like oxygen Every promotion proved I belonged Somewhere between becoming needed I forgot where I belonged
I kept outrunning yesterday Chasing someone I'd never meet Success kept moving farther away And I kept calling it purpose
Diagnostics all returning green Why can't I feel a thing? Heartbeat... Breathing... Everything says... Recovered. I never did.
Meetings blurred into birthdays Deadlines blurred into years Somehow I was always home But never really here The kids asked if I'd come play "Be right there," I said Tomorrow looked just like today I answered another email
Every argument looked like a puzzle Every silence needed repair Love stopped sounding like conversation It became another thing to engineer
Every problem has a shortest path Every circuit wants to close I could fix anything Except the distance between us
Diagnostics all returning green Why can't I feel a thing? Heartbeat... Breathing... Dashboard says... Recovered. The mirror says... Nothing.
Wrapping paper on the floor Coffee growing cold The picture says I was there I can't remember being there I kept looking for root cause When you only wanted me to listen I knew every password Every policy Every protocol I don't remember When I stopped knowing myself I don't know If I built the machine Or if the machine BUILT ME
MANUAL OVERRIDE ... REQUIRED
Diagnostics all returning green Why can't I feel a thing? Heartbeat... Breathing... Everybody says "You're doing great." Everything says... Recovered. I ran into the man I used to be... He didn't recognize me.
MANUAL OVERRIDE ACCEPTED